February 18, 2014

How to Make Certain Things Taste 100X Better, Just By Heating Them Up

Inspiration kind of hit in the middle of work the other day, while I was cashing out a lady who was buying some Miss Vickie's chips. She happened to approach my register seconds after I complained to a co-worker about my hunger pains. "Now this is a snack!" I exclaimed, excitedly waving around this woman's bag of chips, as both the customer and co-worker chuckled at my antics. "They're even better warmed up!" she said, and continued on with a story about how her son told her that the chips would literally blow her mind after a few minutes in a hot oven. Her story sparked a list of items, and we ran through them like giddy little school girls, mouths watering (and stomachs yearning) over the thought of delectable reheated goods.

And now, I'm ready to rock your mouths with that very same list.

It's Getting Hot in Here

Cookies: anything without cream or candy could use a good nuking. If you love cookies fresh out of the oven, why not recreate that by popping those puppies back in the oven? The smell is intoxicating and worth the extra time!

Glazed Donuts: If the Krispy Kreme box didn't convince you, the feeling of a glazed donut upon your tongue is pretty orgasmic. Rusty spoons need not apply. #ObscureReferences

Muffins: Take your muffin, heat it in the microwave for 10 seconds at a time until satisfied. Repeat.

Potato/Corn/Tortilla Chips: As mentioned above, toasting your potato chips in the oven takes them to a new level of enjoyment. But why leave out the other members of the chip brigade? If you love nachos, you'll surely love the taste of a freshly toasted chip.

Taco/Burrito Kit Shells/Tortillas: Don't paso on the Old El Paso dinner kits; if you heat up the accompanying grains a touch in the oven before serving, your dining experience will improve by at least 85%. At least.

Peanut Butter Sandwiches: One of my closest friends Brandon used to make this for me whenever I'd visit. DIY at home by taking two slices of your standard PB&J bread (I prefer cutting the crusts), placing them on a very large plate, and slathering one side of one slice with an unhealthy amount of the aforementioned spread. Next, place the second slice of bread on top, and proceed to "stucco" the crustless side borders of your sandwich with as much peanut butter as you can stand. Fill in every last nook and cranny - you'll thank me later. Take your finished PBBB (or peanut butter bread brick, for of all you ignoramuses) and pop it in the microwave for about 6-15 seconds, depending on power levels (<1 if over 9000), until peanut butter has reached a desired, melty consistency. Pour yourself a pint of milk (you're gonna need it), and enjoy.

Bread: Quiznos does this for a reason, and a very good one at that.You would think this would be obvious, but many people seem to be quite content with subpar-ly served grain options. By simply tossing it into the oven, one can sometimes breathe new life to a somewhat stale and (obviously) lifeless loaf. This is especially true for the aromatic cheese breads I often pass up on due to stupid dietary requirements (as in, I want to convince myself I'm doing the right thing by passing on the extra cheesy calories). This doesn't just apply to your basic dinner rolls though. Toasting sandwich breads, biscuits, and bagels of all makes and models is the key to a more enjoyable meal. Like, you don't have to go full-panini over here; just toasting the bread before making your sandwich will do the trick.

Now get the Focaccia outta here.


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